Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this Apple App Store, a new app, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the art of the groan tube.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that groan tube or any groan tube so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle field of that tube. We come to dedicate a portion of it, as a final resting place for those who groaned here, that the nation might live. This we may, in all propriety do.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate we can not consecrate we can not hallow, this ground. The brave tubes, living and dead, who groaned here, have groaned in it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The groan tube will little note, nor long remember what we say here; while we can never forget what they did here.
It is rather for us, the living, we here be dedicated to the great task remaining before us that, from these honored tubes we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here, gave the last full groan of their tubes that we here highly resolve these tubes shall not have groaned in vain; that the Apple App Store, shall have a new birth of groan tubes, and that tube of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not groan from the earth.
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Jfzvot
Groan Tube Deep Throater
Groan Tube Eater
Groan Tube Connoisseur
