# The Procession to Calvary

> Pythonesque adventure game using Renaissance art to find a fugitive. (iPhone/iPad app by Akupara Games.)

- Source: https://appshunter.io/ios/app/the-procession-to-calvary/id1533450600 (this page in markdown: same URL + `.md`)
- Developer: [Akupara Games](https://appshunter.io/developer/1221828441)
- Category: Games, Adventure, Puzzle
- Price: $3.99
- Rating: 4.70/5 from 45 App Store ratings · 27 written reviews indexed
- Age rating: 17+
- Requires: iOS 9.0 · 2.2 GB
- Languages: American English
- Released: 2020-12-11
- Data updated: 2026-09-02
- Monetization: paid
- User reviews in markdown: https://appshunter.io/ios/app/the-procession-to-calvary/id1533450600/reviews.md

## What is The Procession to Calvary?

Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.

Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...

Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, laugh, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?


Features:

Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.

Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.

Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.

Standalone Story - The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but it's story can be played independently.

Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situation, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice - and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...

Nonsense – Surreal, anarchic comedy. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)

Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.

## Key features

- Point and click interface
- Renaissance artwork integration
- Classical music soundtrack
- Standalone story
- Optional murder mechanic
- Surreal comedy
- Puzzle solving

## Chart rankings

- #191 in Top Paid · Puzzle (US App Store)

## Recent user reviews (10 of 27)

All indexed reviews: https://appshunter.io/ios/app/the-procession-to-calvary/id1533450600/reviews.md

### 4/5 — Readability issues hamper otherwise fun game

*2025-10-02*

The font choice is unfortunate. It really hampers the game to read a very unpleasant font in yellow on tan…just why?

### 1/5 — Idioma

*2023-12-29, version 1.0*

Ya podría estar en español, uno de los idiomas más hablados del mundo, por dios, traducidlo

### 5/5 — plz make more

*2023-12-13*

I love these games so much plz PLZ MAKE MORE

### 5/5 — Monty Python humor + deranged murdering + surprising poignancy

*2023-03-16*

This game was feckin hilarious but also quite crude if that’s not your thing. Great puzzles, killer dialogue, lots of historical references for the attentive player. Had some insight on the nature of power underneath all the fart jokes

### 5/5 — Need more!

*2023-02-12*

These games are hilarious and beautifully crafted! More! More!

### 5/5 — plsase make more PLEASE PLEASEEEEE 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

*2023-01-05, version 1.0*

SO GOOD

### 1/5 — Dumb

*2022-05-08*

and stupid.

### 5/5 — Perfect game

*2022-03-07*

Hilarious with amazing visuals. Wish it was longer.

### 5/5 — Brilliant puzzle game.

*2022-01-05*

This game presents great puzzles and requires critical thinking. The use of Medieval and Renaissance art and music as design elements raise it above most other puzzle games. The Terry Gilliam-esque animations
are wonderfully executed. Some of the dialogue is a little salty, so it’s not for kids. 
I really enjoyed this as much as the developer’s other game. I hope he makes more.

### 5/5 — Super petit jeu avec des graphismes vraiment originaux !

*2021-09-10*

Petit point and click vraiment sympathique avec une histoire et des graphismes particulièrement originaux.

## Frequently asked questions about The Procession to Calvary

### What kind of game is The Procession to Calvary?

The Procession to Calvary is a point-and-click adventure game with a surreal, Pythonesque sense of humor. It features a unique visual style created from Renaissance paintings and a classical music soundtrack.

### What are the main features of this game?

Key features include a traditional point-and-click interface with a verb coin system, a world built from Renaissance artwork, a classical music score, a standalone story, and an optional murder mechanic for skipping puzzles. The game also offers surreal comedy and puzzle-solving.

### How much does The Procession to Calvary cost?

The game is a paid application. There are no in-app purchases or advertisements mentioned, indicating a one-time purchase model.

### Is this game suitable for all players?

The game contains surreal humor and deals with lofty subject matter with flippancy, including gags about butts. While puzzles make sense within their own logic, the tone and content may appeal more to mature players who appreciate anarchic comedy.

### Can I play this game if I haven't played Four Last Things?

Yes, The Procession to Calvary is a standalone story. While it is set in the same world as the critically acclaimed Four Last Things, you can play and enjoy this game independently without prior knowledge of the previous title.

## Version history (last 1 release)

### 1.0 — 2020-12-11

No release notes.

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## More apps by Akupara Games

- [Whispering Willows](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/whispering-willows/id950823223)
- [Last Horizon](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/last-horizon/id1055376602)
- [Chroma Squad](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/chroma-squad/id1208253299)
- [Star Vikings Forever](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/star-vikings-forever/id1231323724)
- [Four Last Things](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/four-last-things/id1310675114)
- [Keep in Mind: Remastered](https://appshunter.io/ios/app/keep-in-mind-remastered/id1344588880)

All apps by Akupara Games: https://appshunter.io/developer/1221828441

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*Data collected daily from the US App Store and indexed by [AppsHunter](https://appshunter.io/). User reviews are verbatim App Store reviews. Ratings, prices and chart positions refresh continuously; this snapshot is from 2026-09-02.*