This app is the best thing: it goes beyond what sliced bread could even begin to encompass. It makes me feel some type of way, and it’s definitely good. This app is so splendid that I can only equate it to being married to my first wife when she gave me my firstborn son. Unfortunately, I had to sacrifice him shortly after in order to save the population of Ohio, so I guess it didn’t work out the way I wanted to. But then I adopted a crocodile from the sewer and had a blast. We drank tequila and went to a club, and let me tell you, this croc could bust a MOVE. Like dear god he busted out moves like the Czar in Russia busted out beheadings in the olden days. I mean, he probably pulled more women than I ever could and he ain’t even human. Like HOW. Then that led me to this app. I was so depressed and in the dump, and I was having trouble waking up on time. I mean, when you’re waking up in Middle School in Ohio, there a lot of delays, from completely unanticipated snow to meteors falling from the sky riding a surfboard with a face that looks suspiciously like the major deity himself Ryan Reynolds. So obviously I had to mosey my way down to the App Store and find an alarm app to help keep track. And BOY OH BOY LET ME TELL YOU! This is absolutely SPLENDIFEROUS! You need this app more than you need oxygen, more than you need A LIFE! Get this app before you get married, it will ABSOLUTELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
(No but seriously, W app)
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