I owe my life to Ganymede
I was broken, lost and defeated. My wife had left me for my muscular neighbour and taken the kids. I had let alcohol and drugs consume me. Then, an old friend told me to try out Ganymede. Suddenly, my life had meaning again. I found a new trophy wife who was wayyyyyyvmore attractive than that old hag and she spouted out 7 more beautiful children. I then bankrupted my old neighbour who had stolen what was previously mine. Now, while I may not have learnt any lessons, I now have Ganymede.
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