Laonei

Laonei speaks Chinese for you. Press the disc and say it in English — it says the Chinese out loud, so you can hand the phone to the person in front of you. They answer into the same button. No toggle to find, no direction to choose. POINT IT AT ANYTHING A menu, a street sign, a form, a receipt, a parking bay. Photograph it and Laonei reads the whole thing, line by line, with the characters, the pinyin and what it means. Or type one question and it answers only that — including the small grey print at the bottom that everything else skips. THE ADDRESS A DRIVER CAN READ Photograph a hotel booking and ask where it is. The address comes back in Chinese characters, in Chinese order, with a copy button — ready to paste into a ride app or hold up at a car window. Not a translation nobody local can read. ASK ANYTHING ABOUT LIVING HERE Visas, deposits, hospital paperwork, how the metro card works, where to eat when you have had enough rice. Short answers you can read standing up, from something that answers like a friend who has been here five years — and remembers what you just asked, so "which one is best?" means something. LOOK AROUND YOU The places on this street in Chinese, with pinyin and what they are, big enough to hold up to a taxi driver. WHY IT IS DIFFERENT No account. Nothing to sign up for. Your history stays on your phone and never reaches a server. No adverts, no tracking, no analytics. 老外 is the outsider. 老内 is the joke: the insider. You arrive as one and this is how you stop being one.