When I was only 3 years old, my parents decided to abort me. I was really sad. What made it worse was only 3 months later, my wife filed for divorce. She took everything from me. My kids, my house, and all of my food. I was at rock bottom. I was 500 pounds and hadn’t seen my toes in over 279 years. The only enjoyment I could find was when I was in the park watching the kids have fun. I was later arrested because it was considered “creepy”. I was thrown into a prison in Russia and my fellow inmates were very large and scary looking. When I arrived at the jail I was allowed to take one thing in. I chose to bring in my phone. The prison blocked everything fun, except for one app. I decided to give it a try. It was monkey go 3D. I was immediately addicted. I played it 25 hours a day. It inspired me to get jacked which allowed me to break out of prison. The guards were shooting at me, but luckily I had already collected 500 monkeys and was able to become invinsible. When I returned home my parents immediately realiswd their mistake. They gave me all of their money and even their house. They were brokies to my 500,000 bananas. I bought the biggest house I could find. I also gained infinite rizz and married Ryan Reynolds’s after he begged to marry me. I currently have over 1,000 “employees” (children in my basement) working for me, and my banana wealth is increasing every day. If monkey go 3D can fix my life, it can fix yours too.
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