WOW
I downloaded NT Block expecting an ordinary mobile experience. What I received instead was a brutal meditation on maritime law, emotional tax evasion, and the psychological consequences of owning seventeen decorative spoons.
Within minutes of opening the app, my dog began staring at corners of the room that no longer technically existed. My uncle, a retired carpet salesman from Nevada, whispered “the pears are listening” before calmly walking into a Bass Pro Shops and disappearing forever.
NT Block does not function as software. It functions as a warning.
The interface resembles the flight deck of a submarine designed by a man who has only heard jazz music once through a heating vent in 1983. Every button feels legally dangerous. Every notification arrives with the energy of a court summons written by a lighthouse keeper.
After using NT Block for three weeks, I can now identify different species of mulch by smell alone. My credit score became religious. The moon appears closer.
5 stars.
Within minutes of opening the app, my dog began staring at corners of the room that no longer technically existed. My uncle, a retired carpet salesman from Nevada, whispered “the pears are listening” before calmly walking into a Bass Pro Shops and disappearing forever.
NT Block does not function as software. It functions as a warning.
The interface resembles the flight deck of a submarine designed by a man who has only heard jazz music once through a heating vent in 1983. Every button feels legally dangerous. Every notification arrives with the energy of a court summons written by a lighthouse keeper.
After using NT Block for three weeks, I can now identify different species of mulch by smell alone. My credit score became religious. The moon appears closer.
5 stars.
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New Trier Block made me lose custody of my kids
After I killed my dog by leaving it in the oven too long my wife divorced me. While fighting in court my children lost their hair and my pants fell down in shock. The judge saw this and decided I wasn’t fit to be a parent. Five years later it’s my wife’s 12th birthday and she invites me. My 43rd birthday was last week so I had some extra cash to spend and I got her an expensive gift. Cut to 3 years later and we’re back together.
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Grandma Judy
Grandma Judy
Tel Aviv
This app helped me get together my plans with my boy the big stein. Really helped me navigate around.
Update on my previous review
I am unfortunately going to have to deduct two stars since last time, only because Miles Enerson keeps using the school iPads to look at gay porn comics and to dm underage femboys, it’s making everyone really uncomfortable. If he gets expelled I’ll give this app a big fat 5 starts again.
