Free
In-App PurchasesWith Ads

Details

  • Released
  • Updated
  • April 17, 2015
  • January 8, 2026

Features

No Proper Thief screenshot #1 for iPhone
No Proper Thief screenshot #2 for iPhone
No Proper Thief screenshot #3 for iPhone
No Proper Thief screenshot #4 for iPhone
No Proper Thief screenshot #5 for iPhone
No Proper Thief screenshot #6 for iPhone
iphone
ipad
๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธGet Icon
Iconsโ†˜๏ธŽ

About

Embark on a thrilling bank heist where your decisions shape your survival and fortune. Navigate complex relationships with your crew and a captivating bank manager, facing consequences for every choice. Can you escape the chaos and get rich?

โœ“Branching narrative choices
โœ“Team management
โœ“Relationship building
โœ“Consequence-driven gameplay
โœ“Multiple endings
โœ“Interactive fiction
Show original description

What's New in No Proper Thief

1.0.6

January 8, 2026

You can now choose a font in the Settings menu. Switch to Helvetica for crisp sans-serif text, or try the OpenDyslexic font, designed against some common symptoms of dyslexia. If you enjoy "No Proper Thief", please leave us a written review. It really helps!

More
1

In-App Purchases

$3.99

Rest of the Game

The rest of the game, including the thrilling conclusion!

User reviews

Good

Good.

I liked it a lot.... But it's got some issues

The plot was very well done, great experience to play. Haha I didn't even realize the Bonnie and Clyde thing until the end.

However it was really short, and at some points I felt like the game got mad at you if you attempted to go off the path of the intended ending. I wish the stats system was a little bit different, just seemed to not really affect anything in the end. And grammar needs some work.

I did love getting to know the characters, worth the price for a quick game-- but still in my heart it's not the best interactive novel out here.
Show more

Delightful

I found the free content delightful, although my stats never changed, for all that I was told that they had. But for that, I might pay for the other chapters.

No choice and bad writing

Unfortunately, I can only recommend this game to people who enjoy melodramatic romances or are die-hard fans of Bonnie & Clyde. This game didn't have any of the charms that make COG games (and its hosted games) so great:

*No roleplaying: one of the reasons I like COG is the ability to roleplay what your character is like. Whether it's gender, race, sexual orientation, personality, morals, etc. Here, you're a robber named Clyde and you're in love with a bank manager named Bonnie (har har). Clyde is a defined character with defined traits and morals.

*Only one right choice: because Clyde is a defined character, there is always only one "right choice", i.e., what Clyde would do. Clyde is a "nice guy", so if you even so much as pick a rude conversation option (like not comforting Bonnie when she gets scared, even though it's the middle of a robbery and time is a bit of the essence here), Clyde will feel guilty and lose "conscience" points (he dies when it falls to 0). Thus, rather than a choose-your-own-adventure, every choice feels like a test to see if you act the right way.

*Unrealistic, melodramatic writing: there are many situations just in the first chapter that are completely unbelievable and overly dramatic. For example:

1) sprinklers randomly turn on and Clyde's mask slips off his face from the water, and he tries to pick it up again, but he can't see anything because of the water, so he can't find his mask (which is supposedly a giant chicken head, btw)
2) Clyde says a rude word to his teammate, who is supposedly a hardened criminal, and the teammate is so upset he loses trust in Clyde (when trust falls to 0, the team kills Clyde)
3) Bonnie, who is a professional woman that has never been around criminals, goes from cowering on the floor in one paragraph to gleefully breaking into safety deposit boxes with a crowbar within 500 words
4) I have Clyde pick the rudest, cruelest things he can say or do to Bonnie, but Bonnie still practically swoons right on top of him. Even after I chose to have Clyde do nothing except stick a gun in her face and bark orders at her, she still insists on throwing away her whole life and running away with Clyde

I could go on, but you get the gist.

The one thing I did like about this game was the stats system, where you die if you fall to 0 on certain stats, like how much the team trusts you and how guilty Clyde feels. This is commonly used in other games for "health", but not much else.
Show more

Great game

Simple and entertaining !

Developer apps

FAQ

What is No Proper Thief about?

No Proper Thief is an interactive fiction game where you play as Clyde Lamm, a new bank robber. You must make difficult choices to survive your first heist, manage your team, and navigate relationships, with every decision having consequences.

Does No Proper Thief have ads?

Yes, No Proper Thief contains advertisements. This is typical for free games that offer in-app purchases.

What devices does No Proper Thief support?

No Proper Thief is available for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch devices.

What is the age rating for No Proper Thief?

No Proper Thief has an age rating of 12+, indicating it is suitable for players aged 12 and older.

How often is No Proper Thief updated?

The latest version of No Proper Thief is 1.0.6, which was last updated on January 8, 2026. This suggests a potentially infrequent update schedule.

What is the user rating for No Proper Thief?

No Proper Thief has a rating of 3.8 stars based on 26 ratings. This indicates a generally positive but not overwhelmingly enthusiastic reception from players.

Can I play No Proper Thief offline?

The provided data does not specify whether No Proper Thief can be played offline. Many interactive fiction games require an internet connection for certain features or content.

What are the in-app purchases in No Proper Thief?

The specific details of in-app purchases are not provided, but they are available in No Proper Thief. These often include cosmetic items, story skips, or other gameplay advantages.