Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast

This update from Apple will improve the functionality of this app. No new features are included. Well hello there again fellow roasters! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Friday to bring you some exciting news! There’s an unstoppable new force waiting to TERMINATE any organic souls foolish enough to face off against him in the verbal jousting ring. He will enable you to CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE ALIEN PREDATORS! The latest update adds a burly new character called Groan, and yeah if the super subtle description above didn’t already give it away, he’s a mix of Conan and the Terminator. So without much further ado, it’s our pleasure to raise the curtain and introduce all of you to the Mighty Croan! An Austrian accented cybernetic organism sent from the future to kill a punk kid from the '80s, but mistakenly sent back 1500 years too far to Barbarian times, Groan The Destroyinator is just as confused as you are. His parts are rusting, his circuitry is outdated and is operating system is obsolete-- basically, he's a big muscly dummy. Lucky for him, he doesn't have to do much more than periodically flex his pecs and deliver quotable one-liners-- which he always crushes." That’s not all though! This updates also includes a brand new arena called “Roast Your Enemies.” So know you can bring the pain with cybernetic efficiency and a barbaric flair in front of your own pixelated bloodthirsty audience! We still have some more surprises up our sticky sleeves in store for you guys, so please keep an eye out on this space for news about future updates. Thanks a lot for your continued support and we hope to meet you all screaming on the verbal battlefield! Yours truly, Vile Monarch