Pet My Phone

Pet your phone. It talks back. A lot. Give your phone a tap, pat, or knock - and it responds with a sound. Then it texts you about it. The harder you pet, the louder the reaction. Your phone knows the difference. CHAT REACTIONS After every petting session, your phone sends you a message. Sometimes grateful. Sometimes passive-aggressive. Always unsolicited. DAILY PETTING HISTORY A GitHub-style heatmap of your petting activity. See exactly how dedicated (or concerning) your behavior has been, day by day. GLOBAL LEADERBOARD Compete with strangers worldwide to see who pets their phone the most. You get a randomly assigned nickname. Completely pointless. Completely necessary. HALL OF PETTING FAME Unlock achievement badges as you hit milestones. 10 pets. 100 pets. 1,000 pets. Your trophies. Not theirs. FOUR VOICES Cat, dog, man, or woman - pick who talks back. Each has their own sound and personality. FORCE-SCALED VOLUME A gentle pat gets a quiet meow. A firm knock gets a full reaction. RUNS IN THE BACKGROUND Always listening, even with the screen off. Your phone is always ready for attention. We are not responsible for weird looks on the subway, colleagues who suddenly want to try it, or the cat that got jealous.