Pet Roaster

Your pet has opinions about you. Pet Roaster publishes them. Pick a photo of your dog or cat, give them a name, and get back a roast card: an archetype, two ratings that are rarely flattering, and one line of what your pet actually thinks of you. HOW IT WORKS 1. Choose a photo or take one 2. Enter your pet's name 3. Tap Roast my pet That's it. No account, no sign up, no email address. WHAT'S ON THE CARD Every roast is written fresh for your specific photo, so it notices things. The seatbelt your dog chewed. The chair they refuse to leave. The exact moment they hear the treat bag. Loyalty: usually high. Brain cells: usually not. Don't like the one you got? Tap regenerate. You get a different joke, not a reworded version of the same one. FREE, AND ACTUALLY FREE No ads. No subscription. No paywall in front of the good part. If you like what your pet said, you can put it on a mug or a shirt, and that is how the app pays for itself. SHARE IT Every roast saves as a card you can send to whoever owns the pet, which is the entire point of the thing. ABOUT YOUR PHOTOS Your photo is used to write the roast and is not stored on our servers. Roasts stay on your phone. There is no account, so there is nothing to sign up for and nothing to delete. Made by Allyra LLC.