Doug dug. vs Door Dodge

Doug is a Dwarf. Doug loves digging. Well, actually he doesn't: what he likes is to find buried treasure. Anyway, one day Doug decided to gather as much treasure from as deep under the earth as he could go. So Doug dug. And he dug. And he fought monsters and avoided massive avalanches of falling rock. And then he dug some more. And he picked up lots of bling. Now it's your turn. Help Doug dig deep down under the earth in the quest for shimmering jewels and precious gold. Go farther and deeper than any of your friends. Find more gold than anyone in the world. Oh but watch out for colossal cave-ins. No they're really colossal—you won't believe it. And creepy monsters. And bottomless pits. Ah, don't worry it's just a game. Do you like Spelunky? Dig Dug? Well c'mon you like Minecraft don't you? Well then you'll like this. Plus it's cheaper. And better. Plus your friends are playing it and you don't want to be left out, do you? Or maybe no one is playing it, in which case you'll be the one who introduces all your friends to "Doug dug." Then everyone will say, "Hey look there goes *your name here* who introduced us to 'Doug dug' and who is therefore cooler than the rest of us because he/she discovered it first." One of those two great options is bound to happen. So what are you waiting for? Doug dug. Will you? Visit http://youtu.be/GZazFfw_O7A to see how it plays.

Do us a solid on the way down and help us dodge any debris and pesky whistleblowers (bummer we can’t make them disappear!), while snagging some lucrative government contracts. We’ll throw some complimentary pretzels down for your trip. Thanks a million! Look, have YOU ever built a plane? It’s difficult to keep all the sky thingies in one piece! Whatever! Sorry for the inconvenience of being sucked out of the plane midflight (we warned you to buckle your seatbelt!). But hey, while you’re plunging to your eventual destination, do us a favor and help keep our door safe from FAA regulators, jerkface whistleblowers, unfavorable press, and any other annoying distractions that might compromise our bottom line. Keep that door free from hitting any of those evil conspiratorial forces, and pick up a few government contracts along the way, okay? That’s still Boing property, and yes, we’d prefer to reattach it at some point (cost savings). The shareholders appreciate your sacrifice. Have a pleasant flight and thanks for flying Boing airlines!