The Toolbox for Healing

Healing begins with awareness, understanding, and action. Take back your personal power, and move on. Go at your own pace! This app is a great way to feel supported and validated while you begin experiencing personal growth. Designed by Diane Metcalf, the author of The Lemon Moms Series, it's for those who are affected by past or present narcissistic mistreatment. Anyone can use this portable support system when they feel confused, gaslighted, hurt, betrayed, or whenever emotional support is needed. It can be used by anyone who is being negatively affected by someone's narcissism. Me Too For as long as I can remember, there was something "different" about my mother. She wasn't like other mothers I knew. My mom didn't act like other mothers; she didn't relate to me as they did to their kids. She didn't hug or kiss me, didn't smile at me, spend time with me, or play with me. She rarely seemed happy to see me. She didn't ask about my school day, and she wasn't interested in knowing my friends. She seemed to have no interest in me or anything that I did. My mom called me hurtful names and obscenities, and at times, ignored me, not speaking to me for days, weeks, or even months. She "played dumb" to manipulate others and became the victim in any scenario. She often stated others were jealous of her and believed that all men desired her. I stayed up as late as I wanted. I was expected to care for my younger siblings and was blamed and sometimes punished for their misbehavior. I was not allowed to express feelings, ask questions, or show initiative or curiosity. Instead, my feelings were discounted, minimized, or invalidated. She rewrote my memories. I was to obey, stay quiet, and not question. It was like living in a war zone most of the time. I was always on high alert (in the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response.) I call these kinds of mothers "Lemon Moms" because they parent mainly by manipulating, guilting, shaming, blaming, humiliating, and belittling. They cannot bond properly with their children to emotionally nurture them. Their children grow up feeling "not good enough," unloved, misunderstood, unimportant, and like they don't matter. As adults, they often have relationship problems and medical or mental health issues. If there's a pattern of manipulation, power struggles, or cruelty in any of your relationships, you are not alone. If you find yourself second-guessing your memory, doubting your judgment or sanity, or you're continually seeking someone's withheld affection, attention, or approval, this app may help. You don't need a formal "diagnosis" for you to determine that your relationship is unhealthy, and you can do something about it. Until now, you had two choices: live on their terms (focusing on them chasing after their withheld love and acceptance) or go "no contact." I suggest you have a third option: walk through the chaos and confusion, learning and applying new tools and strategies while you do. Learn about: -types and symptoms of narcissism as per the APA DSM-V -signs of complex trauma -gaslighting -dissociation -the difference between PTSD and C-PTSD -setting enforceable boundaries -identifying and shutting down manipulation -strategizing conversations to flow the way you want -and more There's an unspoken rule in dysfunctional relationships: don't talk about it, don't trust anyone, and don't feel. Are you done living like that?