Porcelain Pooetry

Fine verse for the finest room in the house. Porcelain Pooetry puts today's local forecast beside a funny poop-themed poem — a pooem — read aloud by a cast of distinguished narrators. A small, silly ritual for your daily throne time. • A NEW POOEM EVERY DAY One verse, scheduled for today, with National Day specials on the days that earn them. No doomscroll. • READ ALOUD BY A CAST OF CHARACTERS The Poofessor's silky menace and Dame Doodie Fothergill's withering disdain read every pooem free. Hire the rest for 99¢ each — Edgar Allen Poo, August D. Movement, Sir Edmund Scatwell, Magnolia B. Still, Dottie Wipe, Slightly Fibrous — or the whole company, plus every voice we ever add, for $4.99. Hear two lines of any voice before you decide. • FOLLOW ALONG Lines light up as they're spoken. Switch narrators mid-pooem and the new voice starts from the top. • YOUR LOCAL FORECAST AT A GLANCE Weather sits right beside the day's verse — sunny, rainy, or stubbornly grey. Use your location, or set a home area. • THE ARCHIVE, FAVORITES, OFFLINE Browse every past day, filter by weather mood, star the ones you love in the voice you loved them in, and keep narration downloaded for the train, the plane, or the throne room with no signal at all. • ALSO ON THE BIG SCREEN Porcelain Pooetry for Apple TV — the daily pooem read aloud on the big screen, with your voices carried over from iPhone. • GENTLE REMINDERS An optional daily nudge so you never miss your morning pooem. Free to read, free to listen with two narrators, no ads, no account. Rated for gentle bathroom humor. Your morning pooem awaits.