Clusterduck vs Cthulhu Diet

What came first, the duck or the egg? CLUSTERDUCK is about hatching as many ducks as possible. As more ducks hatch, the more strange things happen. The ducks begin to genetically mutate! With each generation of ducks that hatch, the chances of things going horribly wrong increase at an alarming rate. Ever seen a duck with a sword for a head, or horse hoof for a wing? These ducks have gone absolutely bonkers. Need room for more ducks? Sacrifice ducks down *the hole*. But don’t get too close — you don’t know what’s lurking down there. Features: •Hatch and mutate wacky ducks! •Collect hundreds of head, wing, and body variations, resulting in amazing varieties! •Mutations come in common, rare, epic, and legendary rarities! •Witty duck descriptions introduce you to the personality quirks of each duck •Discover the secrets of *the hole* •Appease the duck gods by competing in Duck-Off talent contests

The nightmare beyond the deep Cthulhu has arrived to become your personal trainer! Enter your weight-loss goals (he will mock them) and keep track of your daily calories (or don’t, you are doomed either way). Log your meals (did you eat an entire bag of sugar for lunch? Maybe *two* bags of sugar? You can be honest here) and get helpful (NOT helpful - not at all) life and dieting tips from Cthulhu himself. Why not give it a try? The only thing you’ve got to lose is “all your hopes and dreams!” The Cthulhu Diet is a dark-humor parody app which you could technically use to count calories and become a healthier person but really who is going to actually do that? Just download it and get a few laughs as you hurl through the darkness of space and time towards the heat-death of the Universe. Whee!