My Granny 💥
One faithful day, I opened the Securly Flex app. It then visited my granny. My granny then went Kaboom. My granny has not been prayed since. Granny went Kablow. She’s now a bazooka. She blasts Securly Flex with her Granny Panty Bazooka. 0/10 recommendations. The house is gone…
HELP!!!!
I opened the app on Sunday and now I think I’m in the backrooms. There’s something chasing me, and now I might die, all because I downloaded this app and decided to be responsible. I beg of you, don’t use flex, for your own good. All hope is lost for me, so save yourselves!!!!
Oh no no no
I was simply enjoying Securly flex when all the sudden I heard a loud bang on by roof. “It can’t be” I said. When I looked out the window it was TRIPLE TTT! I tried to run away but was stoped by shrek hitting a tik Tok dance with LeBron. After that a white van pulled up saying I had to get in. He hit me with a belt and tied me up. When I got in the car Eminem was singing the real slim shady at the to of his lungs. I knew I needed a way out. I quickly leaned over (I’m very fat) and made the van fall over. But then Steve was make g a nether portal. I jumped in just to see Gru and his minions speed running. I griddied out of there very quickly. When I came back I was in a Ryan Trahan video eating Joyride. Ryan can you put me in a video. Overall, don’t download flex
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The case of the Flex Time incident
⭐☆☆☆☆ (1/5)
I downloaded Flextime thinking I was about to become productive and organized… nah. This app turned my life into a glitchy horror update.
FIRST of all, I open it ONE time and my toaster literally uninstalls itself from existence. Just gone. Vanished. No crumbs. No closure.
THEN “67 Kid” spawns in. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but it’s there now. Just standing in the corner like it pays rent. Every time I open Flextime it gets one step closer. I checked. It’s real.
AND THEN the “sick setting game” didn’t stay in the app. Oh no. It came OUT. Into my HOUSE. My walls started buffering. My WiFi is breathing. My ceiling fan is lagging at 2 FPS.
AND NOW… the worst part.
IT KILLED MY PET ROCK.
My rock was perfectly fine. Thriving. Living its best rock life. Then I opened Flextime again and BOOM. No more rock. Just vibes. Explain that.
My phone battery? Gone.
My sanity? Deleted.
My pet rock? REST IN PEACE.
Also why does the app whisper “flex… time…” at exactly 3:17 AM. I did NOT consent to haunted notifications.
Now everything is in 144p, my dog is buffering, and I think my fridge is judging me.
Would NOT recommend unless you want:
- haunted appliances
- 67 Kid slowly approaching
- reality glitches
- pet rock tragedy
- brain cells = permanently corrupted
This app didn’t just waste my time… it flexed on my entire existence.
0/10 uninstalling didn’t even uninstall it. It’s still here.
I downloaded Flextime thinking I was about to become productive and organized… nah. This app turned my life into a glitchy horror update.
FIRST of all, I open it ONE time and my toaster literally uninstalls itself from existence. Just gone. Vanished. No crumbs. No closure.
THEN “67 Kid” spawns in. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but it’s there now. Just standing in the corner like it pays rent. Every time I open Flextime it gets one step closer. I checked. It’s real.
AND THEN the “sick setting game” didn’t stay in the app. Oh no. It came OUT. Into my HOUSE. My walls started buffering. My WiFi is breathing. My ceiling fan is lagging at 2 FPS.
AND NOW… the worst part.
IT KILLED MY PET ROCK.
My rock was perfectly fine. Thriving. Living its best rock life. Then I opened Flextime again and BOOM. No more rock. Just vibes. Explain that.
My phone battery? Gone.
My sanity? Deleted.
My pet rock? REST IN PEACE.
Also why does the app whisper “flex… time…” at exactly 3:17 AM. I did NOT consent to haunted notifications.
Now everything is in 144p, my dog is buffering, and I think my fridge is judging me.
Would NOT recommend unless you want:
- haunted appliances
- 67 Kid slowly approaching
- reality glitches
- pet rock tragedy
- brain cells = permanently corrupted
This app didn’t just waste my time… it flexed on my entire existence.
0/10 uninstalling didn’t even uninstall it. It’s still here.
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Kill switched my friend Lee
I was hanging out one day with my friend Lee at the park and a Jewish convoy rolled in and droned him. Would not recommend app.
