Unsafe users, little transparency after reports
I had a deeply disturbing experience with another user on Slowly that completely changed the way I see this app.
What initially looked like a meaningful exchange gradually became psychologically exhausting and emotionally hostile. The person eventually admitted in his own letters that he had deliberately interpreted things I said “in the harshest possible way” because he wanted me to leave, that he had set an “emotional bomb,” wanted me to “take the bait,” and had created a “script” designed to make me react in a certain way.
This was not simply a disagreement or romantic rejection. The interaction became emotionally punitive, degrading and extremely distressing.
I reported the account through Slowly. Support confirmed that my report was received and that their moderation team would review the complete correspondence and context. I appreciate that the report was taken seriously enough to be reviewed manually.
However, the biggest problem is the complete lack of transparency afterward. Users are apparently not told whether the reported behavior was considered a violation, whether any warning was issued, or whether any meaningful action was taken. From my side, I saw no visible indication that anything had happened.
That is concerning on an app built around long, intimate letters with strangers. People can reveal extremely personal information here, and unfortunately that intimacy can also be used by emotionally harmful people to manipulate, destabilize or hurt others.
Slowly needs stronger safeguards, clearer consequences for abusive psychological behavior, and at least some basic feedback to people who submit serious reports. I am not asking for another user’s private information. But someone who reports harmful behavior should at least be told whether the complaint was substantiated and whether appropriate action was taken.
Please be careful about how much personal information you share with people you meet here. A beautiful letter and a thoughtful profile do not necessarily mean the person behind them is emotionally safe.
What initially looked like a meaningful exchange gradually became psychologically exhausting and emotionally hostile. The person eventually admitted in his own letters that he had deliberately interpreted things I said “in the harshest possible way” because he wanted me to leave, that he had set an “emotional bomb,” wanted me to “take the bait,” and had created a “script” designed to make me react in a certain way.
This was not simply a disagreement or romantic rejection. The interaction became emotionally punitive, degrading and extremely distressing.
I reported the account through Slowly. Support confirmed that my report was received and that their moderation team would review the complete correspondence and context. I appreciate that the report was taken seriously enough to be reviewed manually.
However, the biggest problem is the complete lack of transparency afterward. Users are apparently not told whether the reported behavior was considered a violation, whether any warning was issued, or whether any meaningful action was taken. From my side, I saw no visible indication that anything had happened.
That is concerning on an app built around long, intimate letters with strangers. People can reveal extremely personal information here, and unfortunately that intimacy can also be used by emotionally harmful people to manipulate, destabilize or hurt others.
Slowly needs stronger safeguards, clearer consequences for abusive psychological behavior, and at least some basic feedback to people who submit serious reports. I am not asking for another user’s private information. But someone who reports harmful behavior should at least be told whether the complaint was substantiated and whether appropriate action was taken.
Please be careful about how much personal information you share with people you meet here. A beautiful letter and a thoughtful profile do not necessarily mean the person behind them is emotionally safe.
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Response from developer
Hello, thank you for sharing your experience and for bringing this matter to our attention. We are very sorry to hear about the distressing interaction you had with another user. Please be assured that we take reports of harmful behavior seriously and investigate each one thoroughly by reviewing the full correspondence and context, and appropriate measures are implemented in accordance with our terms of service. We are continuously working on improving our platform's safety features and user experience. Your feedback is invaluable in helping us identify areas for enhancement. If you have any further questions, please contact our support team at support@getslowly.com.
i love it
😘😘
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❤️
Cette application est une pépite ! ❤️
I love Slowly
I’m very glad I decided to try out this app, I’ve connected to so many amazing people and made lots of friends.
