This app kept me safe from the huntsman eyes
Anyway, here in Koolnaburrabong, or wherever I am, the females wear mullets and there seems to be a misunderstanding between expressing agreements, as I keep hearing both “Yeah” and “Naw” in tandem. Often followed by another “Yeah”! This led to confusion for me and I felt awash with shame. Overwhelmed, I ran to find shelter from the heat in a Holden on cinder blocks. As I slid into the dusty, searing environment of a back seat row I felt something brush my face. What was it? It couldn’t be my hair, as I shaved it off just in case I had to go all Furiosa in this outback. Its wispy like a web. What I saw next terrified me so bad I only tell my emotional support ferret what really happened but fine I’ll say it, those wisps weren’t hair and yes it was a web and I hope no American witnesses such a monsterous sight. A spider so terrifyingly large, so terrifyingly bland in color, was parked underneath the front seat headrest in front of me, legs akimbo, au natural. Thine eyes, O terrible wraith, O how they glint, so sinister! Whilst fighting off feelings of depersonalization due to the surreal environmental and existential vibe, I busted out my iPhone Max Pro Ulta. This app was everything I needed to self rescue myself, and I will forever be the dedicated, unflappable, unwavering bug hunter the developer never asked for this app.
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