Sage Ruined my Autistic Friend
It was a drizzly Tuesday. Me and my buddies were getting ready to have a wonderful lunch provided by Sage’s dining services. That was until we found out what was being served: the gabagool. Famous for shutting down entire cities, my friend reluctantly took a bite (she was excited it wasn’t chicken) and that’s where it all went wrong. Her brain instantly exploded out of her head and soon we couldn’t tell the red of the carpet from the red of her hair. She spouted black vomit and uttered the words in a raspy voice: I MUST RETURN TO MY HOMELAND. and all the students ran off at top speed. She has trapped and killed several animals in the area since we saw her last 2 days ago and she has fashioned their wool and hide into makeshift clothes, and is now hiding under a bench on campus and hissing at everybody who walks by. This is not the first time this has happened!! Please save Allie!!
Show less
“ what about Timmy”
The years was 2005, it was a somber and dark day. I had just entered the cafeteria when I heard some noise, a noise so profound it was as if it was calling me. I was the first person in the lunch room, so no one saw me sneaked into the kitchen. That’s when I saw it the sage employees doing some sort of summoning circle. The wet cold chicken juice made a glowing pentagram. When I glanced even further into the room, there laying on the ground was Timmy. I thought he went missing in the locker room… but NO the dinning staff was turning him into cold, lifeless, not mindful not demure chicken. That’s when it struck me, earlier that day I checked the menu and the main dish was cold chicken. In less that a minute of watching the circle one of the sage employees noticed me. I ran and hid under the salad bar, which contained spider web grapes and dyed cabbage. As I whimpered and cried a felt a blow to the back of my head. When I woke up Timmy was being served… TO ME. The sage staff cut him up and forced me to eat him. After that they locked me in the freezer where is still an to this day.
Show less
Response from developer
If you don't have a review of the actual app, please rate and review menu items within the Touch of SAGE app. This way your feedback can reach the right person who can adjust the menu and improve your dining program. Thanks.
account problems
the zip code section is confusing, i put the zip code of my school and it rejected me, so i closed the app and it logged me out. when i tried to open it back up and log in it said the account was not found.
end the contract.
Sage Dining is one of the worst things that has ever happened to my school. From poisonous sushi to radioactive mac and cheese, Sage Dining never fails to disappoint the entire student body with lackluster quality food that looks like food that people living off of food stamps would be disgusted to eat. While I have only been at my school for 2 years now, I am unsure of whether I will survive the rest of my high school “experience” because who knows? I might be poisoned tomorrow, or murdered for posting this brutally honest review, just like the Boeing whistleblower. Additionally, Sage Dining fails to meet their claims of promising fresh food daily. Just by taking a look at their menu, you will obviously be able to tell that almost all of their menu is composed of frozen food items that take 5 minutes at most to make. And don’t even get me started on the eggs. The dyed yellow plastic eggs would probably stop environmental crises in the Pacific Ocean because marine life would be too scared to eat it. Loads of seasoning is needed to make such eggs edible.
Show less
Response from developer
The ratings here are for the actual Touch of SAGE app. We’re sorry to hear you experienced food that wasn’t up to our high-quality standard. So that your feedback can reach the right person who can improve your dining program, please rate and review menu items within the Touch of SAGE app. You can also leave a comment on the board in your dining hall or speak with your SAGE Manager. Thanks.
I met Sage Dining. Needless to say my day was ruined.
I told Sage how cool it was to meet them in person, but I didn’t want to be a pain and bother them and ask them for photos or anything. Sage said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and throwing undercooked locally sourced butter chicken in face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard them chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw them trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen locally sourced whole grain loaves of bread in them hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sage, you need to pay for those first.” At first they kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the loaves and started scanning it multiple times, they stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each loaf and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly. Sage Dining is potentially the rudest corporation I’ve ever seen.
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and throwing undercooked locally sourced butter chicken in face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard them chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw them trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen locally sourced whole grain loaves of bread in them hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sage, you need to pay for those first.” At first they kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the loaves and started scanning it multiple times, they stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each loaf and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly. Sage Dining is potentially the rudest corporation I’ve ever seen.
Show less
SAGE: VOLUME 1 - Attack of the Tummies
According to my research, sage means “to have taste” and “be wise”. Furthermore I conducted in-person research. I identified that there employees and so called “food” were neither tasteful nor wise. This is a vile example of false marketing and this is how the earth is getting poisoned day by day.
In conclusion, this is the reason my grandmother passed away. Sage used her ashes after her cremation as pepper to put on the “bang-bang chicken” which is half of their menu. You may be wondering how she unfortunately died. One day in her retirement home. She unfortunately consumed Sages pepperoni pizza which had traces of fentanyl and enough grease to run an oil rig in the midst of the Ukraine-Russia war.
Sage takes advantage of numerous elderly women and uses it as seasoning because they obviously don’t know what seasoning is.
In conclusion, this is the reason my grandmother passed away. Sage used her ashes after her cremation as pepper to put on the “bang-bang chicken” which is half of their menu. You may be wondering how she unfortunately died. One day in her retirement home. She unfortunately consumed Sages pepperoni pizza which had traces of fentanyl and enough grease to run an oil rig in the midst of the Ukraine-Russia war.
Sage takes advantage of numerous elderly women and uses it as seasoning because they obviously don’t know what seasoning is.
Show less
Sage dining ruined my life
In a small town, there lived a man named Bob who was known for his love of food. One day, he decided to try out the local dining establishment called Sage Dining. Little did he know that this decision would change his life forever. As he took his first bite of the supposedly exquisite dish, he immediately knew something was wrong. The food tasted like a mix of cardboard and old socks, and the presentation was even worse - it looked like it had been sloppily thrown onto the plate by a toddler. From that day on, Bob’s taste buds were forever scarred, and he could never enjoy a meal again without thinking about the tragic experience at Sage Dining. His friends would often tease him, saying that he had developed a “Sage curse” that haunted him wherever he went. Despite trying numerous other restaurants, Bob could never shake off the trauma inflicted by Sage Dining, and his once joyful relationship with food turned into a comedic tragedy that would be retold for generations to come.
Show less
how r they still in business…. 😔💀
so like i’ve seen all the funny reviews and stuff (THEY R HILARIOUS) but im doing a fr review. I was making a sandwich today at lunch (they lit didn’t have anything) And guess what……. there was a huge piece of mold on the bread. (and yes i have that piece of bread). Having mold on a piece of bread is such a health hazard and could’ve made someone sick….. my second complaint is how they don’t cook there “meat” correctly, more than half of my chicken i get is pink and looks literal raw that’s disgusting and ngl i thought i was gonna throw up 🤢. My last complaint is there food in general. i swear everything is no grain, no dairy, no carbs, no ANYTHING like they just be feeding up rice at this point. and on the rare occasions we actually get food it’s stuff i’ve never even HEARD OF like what….. it’s also the most disgusting thing ive ever tasted in my life. If your debating abt getting sage DONT! IM WARNING YOU
Show less
Sage likes men
It was a sunny whendsday afternoon. I was going to go eat my lunch. When I got to the food I saw that it was this red mush. I was very hungry so I got it anyway. I whent and set down. I saw all my friends eating it. Before I took a bite I saw my friend get up and rush to the bathroom. I walked in to make sure he was ok and I saw crap all over the walls. I tried talking to him but there was no response. He was dead. Over and over people rushed to the bathroom. They all died. After that I saw all of the sage members go into the bathroom and kiss all of the dead bodies. That means the workers are also gay. luckily I did not eat the food. I was the lone survivor that day. I am very lucky that the sage dining curse did not reach me. This is a warning to not eat sage dining. If you eat it then you will die.
Show less
Chicken of 1941
On a cold day of November 18th, 1941 I was terrified of another air strike off unseasonable chicken. To touch back on my life I reenlisted in the army and was sent to the unseasoned land of Antarctica. Day by day and night by night many deaths taken by the cold dry chicken dressed in all black using soggy fries as weapons. I was petrified. I’ve seen many of my comrades hung by Parmesan cheese. The horror on my face was unimaginable. Another day in the books. It was gloomy and rainy day in the trenches with a look out of the trench I see many of my friends dead on the ground obliterated by the unseasoned chicken. We took control of the hard bread point till we had maybe 70 men left with one of our sauce tanks to keep things savoury. We were attacked by the stinging dry string beans. Many men died pierced by the pointy bean. Looking around I was the only one left. The day of the bean attack was the day I used a sauce bullet to put me out of my misery.
Show less
Response from developer
If you don't have a review of the actual app, please rate and review menu items within the Touch of SAGE app. This way your feedback can reach the right person who can adjust the menu and improve your dining program. Thanks.
