A Touch Of MURDER
It was early spring, 1892. Hornets buzzing around the trees. Spring sports starting. My great great grandfather twice removed, but it still hurt. My grandmother tells this story all the time. My grandfather was getting ready to go to lunch. Chicken tenders. Sweet potato fries. Ketchup. He got a single tender, but little did he know, there was a bbq flavored knife STABBED in the tender. In a blink of an eye, a murder scene had happened right in front of my grandfathers eyes. They were all in SHOCK. The authorities were called up to our school but little did we know THE CHICKEN TENDER WAS STILL ALIVE. THE CHICKEN TENDER STARTED RUNNING AROUND THE SCHOOL. MY GRANDFATHER CHASING IT WITH A BUTCHERS KNIFE. THAT VEGAN TEACHER TRYING TO CATCH THE TENDER. IT WAS TOO FAST. My grandfather barely made it out alive. The tender escaped, but my family still looks out for it. To this day, we have no idea where it is. Everyone wants to tell their story, but no body knows what my family went through. Also, SAGE gave me AIDS.
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Curse you, Sage Dining
In 1992, Sage Dining killed my father. It was a stormy night in late October. My family was driving back from the county fair on a winding road through the forests. I could tell my father was stressed by the wet roads, but when he cursed and pulled over I grew concerned. Blocking the road was an entire Sage Dining buffet. Sage workers were standing motionless in front of the car, dressed in their ominous all-black outfits. A Sage Dining employee stepped forward. My dad got out. He told my mother and I to stay in the car. Through the window, I saw a Sage employee offer my father a single whole-grain roll. When my father did not take the roll they offered him some damp, cold chicken, which had been sitting on a hot plate for hours. Seeing that the chicken was gross and damp, my father refused this too. The Sage Dining employees became angry at his refusal to ingest their Organic Locally Sourced food and shot him with an Organic Locally Sourced gun. My father bled to Organic Locally Sourced death on the Organic Locally Sourced ground. I do not remember how my mother got us out of here, but when she too died tragically a year later, I was left an orphan. I swore revenge on Sage Dining, and now, years later, I will have my revenge. Like they always say, revenge is a dish best served cold yet over cooked and inexplicably wet after sitting on a hot plate for three hours.
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THE DAY THE SAGE FOOD ATE BACK🍜
After 3 years of getting food from the sage dining service, I never knew that this food would change my life, literally. On a Wednesday afternoon April 8th, I walked into school unknowing that it was almost my last time. After 3rd period, I was STARVING! My stomach was like a volcano erupting. My friends and me walked down the hall to the cafeteria where I waited 15 minutes in line, for some grub. While waiting in line, I noticed the marinara sauce was bubbling like crazy. All of the sudden, the pot exploded and marinara sauce burned the skin of my peers. Then!! The pasta grew arms and used the garlic bread rolls as weapons!! Kids were dropping left and right, and because i was so smart, I decided to rush put the fire exit, just moments before the pasta could get me. That day there were 142 casualties, many of which were friends and family. I was furious to hear the number of casualties, but I had to except what happened and move on. In conclusion this tragedy is why Sage gets 1-star.
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App not working
Aside from the terrible quality of the food (Sage will cut any corners they have the chance to) and the failure to properly cook their food (meat often undercooked, chickpeas/beans are consistently uncooked), the app will almost always fail to show you the menu, which makes me very concerned that this might be an email collection scam.
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Not the best, but love the breadsticks
The only reason this review gets a 5 star is because of the heavenly breadsticks they serve once a month. We need to see these holy breadsticks at least twice a week to highly improve the quality of sage overall.
Sage literally killed my friend
It was any normal day and as my friend and I made our way to buy our favorite Sage-style Cardboard Pizza, but as we made our way to the checkout area, one of the Chocolate Chip Cookies came to life and began to revolt. Then, as if out of a children’s movie, all the food came to life and started a revolution. The entire cafeteria went into a panic and everyone began evacuating the school. I tried to find my friend in all the chaos but was swept out by the crowd. It wasn’t until the food was contained two days later that I found my friend’s corpse lying there, still holding his plate. Sage has committed a terrible crime and must pay for their actions. Also, Sage gave me aids.
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Literally a worthless app
I generally don’t write reviews but this app is so so bad…
This is an email collection app (email registration required to use) and otherwise does not function at all. Period. App doesn’t do anything whatsoever after registering and verifying my email address. Dead menu links and non-functional search feature. Also, my 11 year old - who is NOT a picky eater - says Sage food is generally inedible; meat is usually undercooked (raw pink chicken for example) and/or the food is totally flavorless. She typically ends up eating a bagel for lunch every day because it’s the only thing that isn’t disgusting. Most of her friends have the same complaints.
This is an email collection app (email registration required to use) and otherwise does not function at all. Period. App doesn’t do anything whatsoever after registering and verifying my email address. Dead menu links and non-functional search feature. Also, my 11 year old - who is NOT a picky eater - says Sage food is generally inedible; meat is usually undercooked (raw pink chicken for example) and/or the food is totally flavorless. She typically ends up eating a bagel for lunch every day because it’s the only thing that isn’t disgusting. Most of her friends have the same complaints.
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very bad.
it was a normal wednesday, like every wednesday before that fateful day. I stood in line waiting for my spaghetti and when I received my tray, the spaghetti looked absolutely normal. little did i know, that very spaghetti would almost take my life. I sat down with my food and raised a bite to my mouth when all of a sudden the spaghetti grew arms and reached out for my throat. it wrapped tightly around my neck, it’s grip as strong as a boa constrictor. i saw my very life flash before my eyes, but with a sudden burst of strength as i reflected on my young life, i tore the spaghetti away from my throat and lived to see another day. I have not told anyone about this incident, as reliving it is just too much to bear. but i no longer wish to stay silent, i will NOT allow sage to silence me!!!! I am already planning my revenge. just you wait sage, just you wait. my name is jharr, and i will speak my truth.
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Kinda awful
SAGE has a contract with my University and at first it was decent. Food was satisfactory and all, but it went down hill real quick. First off, I’m never able to use their online ordering feature when I am supposed to have access. I’ve tried to talk to customer support about this because sometimes I am unable to go to the dining hall before it closes because of practice or class, but I got really short, generic responses and not one time did they offer to try and remedy the situation. My university does a good job of having the food prepared when I arrive, but Touch if Sage itself, has awful service and is unreliable.
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Give me liberty
We have had sage for 3 years now, and the school has just implanted sage into the tuition, and sage is just so bad that some of my class is bringing a lunch now even though when we did the math, it’s almost $20 a day, yet we still bring food from home because sage is just so bad. I wish that I could rate 0 stars. They barely have any actual meat because of all of the disgusting veggie options, whenever there is actual “meat” it is always either scorched or under blue, now please give me liberty from sage.
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